We're Raising PG-13 Kids

We are not super parents. We don’t assign our kids extra reading or homework to help them succeed in school. I’m usually on the couch holding the remote yelling, “Hurry with your homework so we can watch a show!” We don’t even have cable anymore; we stream everything via Netflix yet we haven't skipped a beat. We probably watch more TV now that we are not plagued with pesky commercials. Our family likes action packed movies and shows and we like to watch them together. We often find ourselves looking for super hero or spy movies. We call it quality time.

As for TV we enjoy watching others throw themselves through insane obstacle courses that most certainly will end in death or dismemberment. But they never do! We cheer for our favorite new TV friends all the way to the end. And by cheering what I really mean is yelling at the TV and screaming loudly. We also enjoy getting completely grossed out while others subject themselves to eating stink beetles and drinking hot sauce. We love a good Fear Factor. That show brings groans and chuckles and usually ends with one of us screaming at our new TV friends, “NO! Don’t do it!!” While the others chant, “Do it! Do it! Do it!”

We know we allow our kids to view movies and shows others may be appalled by but the conversations we’ve shared are worth it. I do prefer the lighter talks that accompany super hero and disaster movies. Those are usually summed up with, “What you see in this movie is not for real.” Occasionally we’ll have to add, “We do NOT use that language when we express ourselves, we are far more clever with our smack talk.”

Then there was Glee season 1. There were all sorts of situations that required discussion. And discuss we did. The inquiry began and the ability of Ozzie and me to both be involved in answering the questions would likely not have happened if we sat in a formal family meeting around the table holding our bibles reading Song of Solomon. We were able to be honest with our girls about the reality of so many topics in our world today. Then we stopped watching the show because in season two they mocked God. We really didn’t want our TV to be struck by lightning, then what would we do for entertainment?

Advent at Our House

As Christmas approaches we start to fill our calendars at an amazing rate. Weekends have long been booked up and we’re starting to spill into mid-week merriment. That’s ok; we love this time of year. The hustle and bustle doesn’t bother me because our family makes it a point not to lose focus over what we are celebrating and why we honor Christmas day. We still have presents, a Christmas tree and Santa to look forward to but we also have the ‘why’.

When Grace was 5 she asked me if Santa was real. In a panic and without hesitation I replied, “YES! I believe in Santa.” Then she told me her friend Mia shared with her that it was YOUR parents do all that. They are the ones who put the presents under your tree. Grace was so relieved that I assured her there was a Santa. She even tried to explain to Mia that there was NO WAY her parents could do ALL THAT to ALL THE KIDS in ALL THE WORLD in one night, as amazing as her parents are. Santa lives on in our house. Not sure how much longer but I’m going to enjoy it while I can!

 Last week, Faith told that there is a boy in her class who has an elf living at his house. The elf relays messages to Santa for the family. He also brings back messages from Santa all month long! She wants to go to this boy’s house. Clever family fun is going on in that home. I wish I would have heard about elves coming out after Thanksgiving and leaving sweet messages around when my kids were smaller. That sounds like it could be fun.

What we do is an Advent Devotion for the whole family. It’s called the Jesse Tree. I love it and it focuses our entire month around the anticipation of Christ’s birth. This is a link to the site I use for our nightly readings https://www.rca.org/sslpage.aspx?pid=1628. We start on Dec 1 and do one every night. The girls will take turns reading the story and scriptures out loud then we talk about what they’ve read. At the end of the devotion they get to hang an ornament that represents that day’s story. For you crafty people out there, some sites have patterns you can create your own ornaments from. For people like me, I find myself rummaging through all our possessions for something close to the story that I can tie a string around and call it an ornament. We have really weird things hanging off our tree. To top off the night, somehow the girls have linked this tradition with the Starbucks Advent Calendar that we fill with chocolate kisses. It was given to me the same year we began the Jesse Tree devotions so they think it’s all one big thing to do together. I’m not complaining, after all who doesn’t like a kiss before bed?

The Starting of a Tradition

Traditions are not hard to start. Unless you Google “Thanksgiving Traditions” then it brings up all sorts of overwhelming ideas. A lot of them seem to be crafts. In our family traditions just kind of happen. Most of them revolve around food. Thanksgiving is a big deal for us. We like to celebrate a day surrounded with food and football and reminders to be thankful of our many blessings. And we have a lot. We are blessed with health and every provision big and small, with love and laughter and a deep sense of joy and hope for what will be.

We have not always spent Thanksgiving doing the same things. We have been in many different places for this the most important day of turkey. The one thing we are consistent with is we’re together and we’re with family and we’re thankful. Family isn’t always the people you are born related to either. We have made claim to Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and cousins over the years and some of our closest friends we consider family.

This year we packed up the family, including Max our dog, and ventured over the hills the through the woods to Aunt Edie and Uncle Bob’s house. Just writing it makes me giddy all over again. They are two of my most favorite people in the world and I hesitate to share them with Ozzie and the girls except they should get to have favorite people too. It was Aunt Edie and Uncle Bob’s house in CA that always hosted our Thanksgivings growing up. I loved going to their house. I wanted to live at their house. Although the location has changed the feeling, the food, the cousins and the party that was Thanksgiving has not changed at all. There were 25 of us from 3 generations and the 2 dogs. The cousin dogs got along fabulously!

I was assigned Peach Cobbler as my dish to provide. I have a thing about canned fruits. Not my favorite. So I decided to use frozen peaches. The store didn’t have frozen peaches. It did have a lot of dark red cherries. As I was making my dish my cousin Bobby asked, “What are you making?” My simple reply was, “Peach Cobbler, it’s what I was assigned and I’m obedient but I’ve never made it before.” To which Aunt Edie gasped, “What do you mean? I thought it was Ozzie’s favorite traditional Thankgiving dessert!?” Well yes, that is true except early in my life I learned that if you make lots of great things and your husband has a family favorite that he loves and you will never live up to making it right, then one should just keep making the good stuff and his family can make that favorite dish. This Thanksgiving I made my first peach cobbler except there were no actual peaches involved. Don't get stuck in the details! Bobby declared that what I made was in fact Peach Cobbler and if anyone were to ask, which some did, Bobby would holler from across the kitchen, "IT’S PEACH COBBLER!"

So here is the peach cobbler I made:

1/2 cup unsalted butter (I had salted butter)
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 cups sugar, divided (I used 1 cup divided)
1 tablespoon baking powder
Pinch of salt
1 cup milk
4 cups fresh peach slices (I used 4 bags frozen dark red cherries)
tablespoon lemon juice (I used the juice of one whole lemon)

Melt butter in a 13- x 9-inch baking dish. Combine flour, 1 cup sugar, baking powder, and salt; add milk, stirring just until dry ingredients are moistened. Pour batter over butter (do not stir).Bring remaining 1 cup sugar, peaches (or cherries), and lemon juice to a boil over high heat, stirring constantly; pour over batter (do not stir). Bake at 375° for 40 to 45 minutes or until golden brown. Serve cobbler warm or cool.

From here on out, someone will be bringing the peach cobbler. The question is, what kind of peaches will they use?

The stuff

I love to cook and I love to put on events. It’s my favorite thing. But when the event nears and daily life doesn’t move out of my way, I start to run around like a wild monkey trying to get all my ducks in a row. Ducks and wild monkeys don’t get along. I neglect the things I believe can wait, like dirty dishes, laundry, making healthy meals, and lite housekeeping.  The problem is, I live with 3 other people and when we don’t stay on top of our daily household routines our very universe seems ready to implode and the stuff arrives.

An amazing transformation happens in our home. When we are not continually making sure our items are placed exactly where they belong, piles of stuff begin to appear all over the floor, the couch, the stairs. The children do not seem to notice this phenomenon. Once a pile appears, they like to contribute their decorative flare to the stuff by adding socks and backpacks and favorite books or toys.  Ozzie loves to contribute to the stuff by shedding his clothes like a moulting snake the moment he enters the house in a trail that leads to our bedroom, a bathroom or the couch, whichever destination he finds first.  I’m not immune. My shoes are drawn to the stuff. I didn’t even know I had that many pairs of winter shoes until they all walked themselves out of my closet and into their own stuff piles. The most amazing part is once these stuff piles appear they begin to grow!  

A secondary problem has arrived with the most recent stuff piles. We don’t have the floor space for our workout sessions! I know what you’re thinking, “move the stuff”. If only it were that simple! We look at the stuff and decide it’s bigger than we are. And this must be a sign that we are not to work out today, which turns into tomorrow then it’s been a whole week. Then you know that that leads to? FAILURE! Now we’re discouraged because we failed for a whole week to keep fit and healthy.  So I ate vanilla Jo-Jo’s by the handful, the kids ate donuts and Ozzie ate everything else.

I've had enough, I'm saying NO MORE to the stuff. This is a new week, the event that required my attention is over. It was wonderful! The kids have extra time this week, they are on ½ days all week because of parent/teacher conferences. The pantry is empty of processed foods and junk. This is OUR WEEK! We’re taking the house back from the stuff!!

There will be workouts this afternoon and a warm healthy dinner on the table tonight!

The Be's

We’re going to make it a point to follow the Be’s. We’re all about action words. It’s one thing to write out nice sayings, but these are things we will actually have to do. Action will be required.

Be Thankful
There is so much in our lives to be thankful for. We should be living in a constant state of thankfulness. I woke up this morning, there’s reason #1 on my list today! My bedroom smelled like a men’s locker room when I woke up this morning, but yeah! I have a husband who goes to bed with me every night and wakes up with me every morning, reason #2. It made me sad we didn’t have any milk in the fridge, but hey! the fridge was working, reason #3. See how easy this is? The hard part is you really have to mean it.

Be Grateful

I’m terrible at this. I assume people can read my heart and thoughts when I’m truly grateful. I often forget to tell them out loud! I’m grateful to our friends Lorrie and Brian who let us hang out at their house all the time without invitation or notice, we just show up. I’m grateful to my sister who is the BEST Aunt on the planet to my daughters. I’m grateful my family is letting me use them as guinea pigs on this adventure.

Be Generous

This is a big one, give more than we get. This isn’t all about money. Give more time to our kids then to our TV. Give more time to my spouse then my novel. Give more attention to your wife then to you video game. Give more of our time to volunteering, give more of our clothes to charity, give more, more, more!! Our girls are good at giving everything but their money, we’re working on a charity fund. They are resisting, Ozzie is insisting. I want them to decide on their own. We’ll see where this goes. Stay tuned.

Be Loving

We will be loving towards one another in our words and in our deeds. We will say loving words to each other. We will show each other affection. We will do these things publicly so our daughters will see what real love looks like and to embarrass them. We love to freak out our girls with a big hug followed by a short sweet kiss between Ozzie and I. This has back-fired lately. It’s Max our dog that is more horrified by this display of affection. He barks and jumps and tries to attack. We have yet to figure out who he is barking at. The girls join in. Then we have two kids and a dog running through the house screaming and barking that daddy is trying to attack mommy. The sweet romantic moment has been lost. Ozzie turns into a giant hug monster and tries to tackle everyone simultaneously, he usually succeeds.

Be Helpful

We will help one another. I love when someone, anyone steps in to help me without being asked! It’s pure joy. On the other hand, I will ask and ask and ask again if I want help and no one seems interested. Both Grace and Faith are really great helpers, when they want to be. Like any other person on the planet they are also hard of hearing when they don’t want to be.

Be Nice

To everyone. This is hard. Because when I say everyone, I mean EVERYONE. Grace is the master at this one. She later brags about how nice she was to the terrible bully who everyone else hates. I think she goes out and looks for difficult people to be nice to so she can later report her good deeds. Whatever, I still give her credit.

Be Positive

Choose to live a positive life. This is a no brainer, right? Then why is it so hard? We often find ourselves being the host to our own pity parties. Faith woke up earlier this week and decided school was not for her. I told her I understood how she felt and didn’t want to get up either. She suggested we stay in my bed and snuggle all day. I liked that idea. Instead, I told her days like these are the days we should expect BIG things to happen but if we stay home we’ll miss them. As we walked to school I told her she could have any kind of day she wanted to have, it was her choice. Later that afternoon she told me she had the BEST DAY EVER. I never did find out why, but we both chose to have a positive day and expect greatness. And we got it.

Friends are very important

We like people, we like to socialize and we like to eat together. We are motivated by the relationships around us. Ozzie and I have a lot of friends. We encourage our children to have a lot of friends. We tell them to be kind to everyone, include others when you play games and make sure you choose friends who do not lie, steal or cheat. Ozzie repeats that last phrase to the girls almost daily. He knows the choices they make in friendships today will develop who they will grow in to tomorrow. Ozzie and I choose to have a lot of friends because we love people. We love the different perspectives we get from our friends in all walks of life. Our friends are a part of our lives and they will keep us accountable over the next six months.

 

 

We have a new friend named Kevin. He is a real life personal trainer and he really does know how to whip people into shape. Kevin is helping us do this right and giving us direction and clarity into our random work-outs. With his help the exercise portion of our commitment will be for real. He knows we can do this, at least he keeps telling us we can. I believe him. It’s one thing to write out your intentions, having someone watch you when you said you were going to do something is a different kind of accountability. Kevin is watching. That’s what I will keep telling Ozzie.

 

 

Eating has been easy this week. Friends keep bringing us food! Let me share a trick I’ve learned over the years: When you are at a friend’s house and you RAVE about the food they cook for you, they will cook more meals for you. I love dinner delivered at my door for no other reason than I have awesome neighbors and friends who also happen to be fantastic cooks. Pot roast, potatoes, roasted veggies and homemade bread from my friend Michelle was out of this world! Then my neighbor and friend Allison brought over old fashioned chicken and dumplings. YUM. Both these meals were completely homemade. I’m all for real home cooking. And if you rave about my food, I’ll make you more.

 

 

Nearly to the end of the first week and we are still fired up and the motivation to work out is still high! Yeah for us! Apparently dated deadlines and public accountability motivate my husband. He is rethinking his participation in this. Not in a bad way, but in a way that he says, “You put this out there for all to see. I better serve up some results.” I’m all for it. Now I just need to convince him that posting before pictures will only benefit him in the long run! Any friends out there have picture of Ozzie I can post? ;)

10 Rules to Live By

As a family we all agreed to these ‘rules’ to live by. This is not a diet or an exercise plan, this is our life. Admittedly many of these things are already in place and this is not a drastic change for our family. This is writing our ideas out and requiring accountability with the knowledge we do these things on purpose.

1.       Eat dinner together as a family at the table. No TV. No phones. (Oz has a hard time with the no phone rule but the girls are quick to tell on him)

2.       Buy ingredients with no preservatives.

3.       No processed foods.

a.       The foods we do buy should have 5 or fewer ingredients.

b.      The ingredients will be food and not chemicals.

c.       I should know what the ingredients actually are.

Exceptions to this include but are not limited to condiments, pasta and vanilla Jo-Jo’s from Trader Joe’s. Actually pretty much any food from TJ’s is exempt from this rule.

4.      Fast food joints are off limits. Fortunately for us there are no In&Out Burger’s in WA J

5.      Be good students and be helpful at school. Picking up trash and playground toys after recess. Stand up for those who are being picked on. Speak kindly to everyone you encounter.

6.      Be a good employee. Be to work on time and don’t call in sick when really you’re just tired. Do the best we can at the job we’re doing. Meet quotas and exceed expectations. Speak kindly to everyone you encounter.

7.       Volunteering together as a family every week.

8.       1 hour of chores together as a family every week.

9.       60 minutes of exercise every day. Preferably together.

10.   More reading, less TV. When our one TV is on we’re all watching together and discussing the show.  We do not have cable but we do stream Netflix. Our current favorite is The Cosby Show.

Now the fun begins. It was comical to watch how many of these rules we broke in the first 24-hours.

Let’s see,

#1 turned into 40 minutes and lots of ‘water’ breaks for the girls as we stretched, did crunches and used the rowing machine. We ladies agreed the exercise part was really for Daddy’s benefit and we were just there to encourage him. Ozzie may have felt differently as I caught him clipping his toe nails while he was supposed to be stretching.

#2 was a raving success with Taco Salad for dinner. YUM. 

#3 & #4, FAIL.  Fruit Loops for breakfast and Halloween candy for snack. Lots of snacks.

#5 was easy to avoid.

#6 & #7 I think we all did well.  Wait, does plotting to start a blog while you are at work count? I may need to revisit this one.

#8 & #9 are scheduled for the weekend.

#10 the girls and I read books in the afternoon after homework was done. We watched 2 episodes of the Cosby Show together as we worked out in the living-room/gym.

I’ll work on doing better tomorrow, once all the Halloween candy has been eaten.